i'm over it 

existing in a plane between

watchful eyes

gulping at the air 

just to keep reaching for the sea

my ears won't stop ringing

and my sticky thoughts 

won't stop clumping

i dream

and i dream 

and i long to dream 

where we can eat fruit under the sun

and i won't be sorry for my face 

where it'll be okay if i don't hear it all 

where we'll hold hands 

and i won't have to ask

where i feel beautiful 

and i won't wish 

for blackness to take me 

every time i blink 

that'll be it 

that'll be nice 

 

i haven't always been this forgiving 

this turn the other cheeking 

the laugh until we weeping 

the scared until we're seeping

the cry until we're cheating 

i laugh when i'm alone 

always aloud 

i avoid thinking of you -

all my moments alone 

have been yours too 

you hang up the phone 

and your eyes turn me over

i eat and i eat and i eat 

and you know it's never in front of you 

i know i'll never wake up 

in a good mood

or ready to greet the day

i'm always tired

and i'm always breathing

through pursed lips 

maybe it's timing 

that i eat everything in sight

and look to vacuum the bites 

maybe it's fate

that i only know alone 

and yet i wear your cologne 

maybe it's my fucked up bundle 

the knot that whispers 

put your hand into the fire - 

the breath that softly murmurs truth

you don't deserve me 

twists and turns 

carousels always burn 

before they churn 

just to create the yearn 

huh, 

how bout that? 

we can scorpion each other 

how does that sound? 

crushingly sweet annihilation 

hold my hand 

watch me 

then go 

 

someday i'm going to want to wear a starry crown

someday 

    someday 

        someday 

maybe 

    maybe 

        maybe 

one day 

for just one day 

i've been trying to make you want me 

but everything i try just takes you further from me

someday we will set it off 

only 

you think they wrote me off 

bebe don't you get it all 

nothing will 

i talk like i take all the lies 

just so you don't have to make your mind

just cut between 

space and time 

no half-truths just naked minds

i put my hand on the stove 

to just see if i still bleed

i still kind of free

we'll never be the kids we used to be

so push me away 

and forget my face