when did it become my job to tell you i'm hurting

i immediately noticed when your eyes turned sad

but i'm "happy" you got the job and the boy and the life

really i'm gutted, bleeding out, and unsure if i'll see tomorrow's sun

but you'll never know 

you'll never ask 

maybe you didn't ask to be friends with a deaf girl with an eating disorder and daddy issues

i never envisioned i'd be friends with such a shortsighted self-absorbed selfish hag 

who thinks she's "right" about everything 

but here we both are

once i stopped caring, everything stopped 

it didn't hurt anymore 

but what was once exciting lost it shine 

my demons demand retribution 

what shall i tell them?

you didn't mean it 

that you made a mistake 

maybe it'd be better if i let them consume you