My thoughts haven't been my own for quite sometime. I think of you most moments. I plot and plan what I will text you, how I can find opportunities to steal time away with you. I don't want you though, not in that way. This is different. I just want the chance to want you and to watch you. I don't want to be apart of it. I wish it wasn't like this. I now understand when people say that my life was so much better before I met you. Because it was. I was finally on a trajectory where I would be my own person. Now, I'm back to the shadows. To feeling bad for my space and apologetic for living in the body I inhabit.
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