daddy heartbreaks hurt most

it's dew drops 

and styrophoam cups 

it's dunkin 

and it's for your health 

it's the scabby shins 

and the open chins 

it's the noticing 

what's always been there 

it's the bloated cheeks 

and the fish filled creeks 

and the smiles 

that have the same style 

the same big look

and the belly out to stood 

we've cry 

and hold the same 

breaths in that space in our neck 

we move and we shake 

the same 

only to groove 

of the same moves 

it's that axis 

the movement of the beat 

all while we take a seat 

so let's watch our feet 

take the same beat 

I'm not inclined 

to sit back and whine 

but here i am 

checking my phone every 5

waiting wondering 

sad 

that i know 

you're not even thinking about me 

yet my heart beats for you

my mind runs around you 

and you wonder 

what more you can give 

all i know is 

ever since i met you 

said hello 

stared at your calves 

i've dreamt 

about the morning 

that you come to me

you walk across the dew 

just to tell me 

i'm it 

the thing 

you don't want to leave 

body and soul 

it won't be it though 

that's the delusion 

but that doesn't make the hoping 

any less 

to die for 

7/6/24

it's been a week since we make out in my living room. 

i knew you came over just for that

since, i've been waiting by my phone

licking my wounds on the third floor of my parents' home. 

a place i've always inhabited.

milennial girlhood at it's finest.

    where i started my eating disorder 

    i hoarded food

    and promised myself i'd never eat again 

it can't all be like this 

just heartbreak and none of the fun

or the jazz

or the sex that made everything whole 

and this worth chasing 

into migraines 

and medical debt