about a version of you
that admires me when i sleep
and waits for me to wake up
i've stopped believing you
exist
that i'll ever be able to share
my ugly
without you walking away
i've stopped thinking that
i'll never not be a cowboy
and that you'll never not
see through that
i've stopped trying to love myself
so that you can love me
shrinking myself
to be the hole that you crave
my poems are richer when
you're not here
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