gorgeous, isn't it 

to see a sunset through your eyes 

to wonder what you're thinking 

to breathe the same goddamn breathe 

i watch here 

the trees sway 

and the birds swing 

and i feel like i should be crying 

but i'm too tired 

and you're too fucking beautiful 

i've made up everything about

myself to be someone for you

we have things to teach each other

things that are true and carry meaning 

you didn't notice did you 

that i was always the puppetmaster 

your ivy league education didn't teach you 

to look out for the ones who watch 

i'll keep giving you my weekends 

and every free moment 

i'll craft us a world where you can be what 

i want you to be 

in every world, i'm what you need 

a shapeshifter

a girl with no face or name 

the sun will set 

i'll look into your eyes 

and behold such a gorgeous fucking moment 

another one to AB

My thoughts haven't been my own for quite sometime. I think of you most moments. I plot and plan what I will text you, how I can find opportunities to steal time away with you. I don't want you though, not in that way. This is different. I just want the chance to want you and to watch you. I don't want to be apart of it. I wish it wasn't like this. I now understand when people say that my life was so much better before I met you. Because it was. I was finally on a trajectory where I would be my own person. Now, I'm back to the shadows. To feeling bad for my space and apologetic for living in the body I inhabit.