he's no longer the person i get excited to tell

stories to 

it's you 

how many years have i waited to hear that 

you've written mine 

on my upper thigh

since july 

only in my mind 

but maybe not

i keep recalling things 

we never did 

but waited for 

 OB in the spring without judgment  

let's cry 

and wait 

eventually new life will come 

i'll watch colin

comfort and rub 

and hold 

i'll feel the colors 

and the goddess of timing 

my ribs get the feeling 

there was a plan 

always was 

i just need to show up

walk slowly 

and watch with tired eyes 

i don't care to read minds 

or rooms 

i'm finally here with glasses

and warm blankets 

Am I really your only friend? 

Then why am I so scared 

I'll be done by next Spring 

You'll wipe your hands clean 

While I bleed 

And light my sheets ablaze 

Walking through the dark Ann Arbor nights 

Wanting to touch his skin 

Flashes of chosen love 

I know I'll be down bad 

And want ignore you 

Only to text you minutes later 

 every hallway i walk 

i mean stalk 

only to feel like a hawk 

we lick our lips 

and cream our hips 

only to eat and take trips 

i love you and you know it 

but not in the way where 

i want the inside  

because it all lives in the same place 

doesn't it 

just that i never 

want to say 

goodbye 

pinching myself 

watching you walk up the stairs 

on a A2 sunny night 

only to part 

just to press restart 

we're both stretched out 

and you know 

it's special

to say it 

to whisper it 

for the other to hear 

it's been a while 

since i put pen to paper 

images of you 

are the only ones 

i'm drawn to recreate