...

too often do we focus on what we don't have, our faults, our deficiencies. that's a trite observation, but why is the grass always greener? the sky could always be bluer. should I be thinking about my life in a linear or a cyclical way? will choosing one make living easier? am i doing this right? is it okay that i look like this? speak like this?

i wish i could talk to you without my brain short-circuiting. i wish i could show you who i am.

i wish i didn't have the thoughts of an anti-social insecure high school girl with bacne as an almost 25 year old. i wish i was more. 

i wish the internet didn't distract me from my thoughts. i wish i could develop an idea—i have a lot of interesting takes. 

fin, i wish i didn't want to crawl out of my skin and inhabit some amorphous space between us. i wish i didn't want to watch you live your life, but rather be there next to you living mine.