i was thirsty most of today
my lips chapped
and my hands callused
i no longer recognize myself
after years of gazing at my reflection
everyday i wake up
and i cling to the
outside of my beating heart
i weep
because i'll never fill my lungs
i didn't see the raccoon
at the bend today
the one that's been dead
since August.
i've been underwater for so long that
i've forgotten that lungs are meant to
have air in them
i'm thirsty
but if i inhale, i'll die
i cannot hold my breath
and be thirsty forever
so i must choose
maybe tomorrow i'll have a solution
maybe tomorrow i'll understand
why it's all been too much
and never enough
why i am always hurting
and why i can't shake you
i want to believe that
tomorrow's sun will burn brighter
that there's still a chance
but i only know lies
including this one—
each day, i am new
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