you know that i call you just to remind you i'm here 

i ask you questions i know the answers to

i practice what i'm going to say to you 

i ask for advice when i know better 

and i think about how i can poke at your scars 

you know it though 

everything i want from you is what you wanted from your papa 

and what your papa wanted from his 

to be adored 

i was never your little girl

i know you tried to keep me alive 

i never choked on your 16 squared pbj's 

and you smiled when i took my first steps 

we'll draw circles around each other until our last breath

and we'll dance and eat in the dark 

and gulp the air & chew on our pain

begging for it to be quick 

you taught me how to cower 

and be invisible in a room full of others 

thanks to you that's it 

i have no words, brian's survival kit